Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sorry my hands just texted you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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