i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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