I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
