Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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