Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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