May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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