I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
