i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
