Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
