If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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