His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Everyone says I win the strip club
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
