ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wanna go halves on a baby?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
