I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
