woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
