Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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