i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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