He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
