Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
