I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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