is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
