it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
