It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can feel your judgement through the phone
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
