I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
