I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think my fart just growled at me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
