White coat. Heels.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
