You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
