I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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