hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
