It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
