New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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