Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
