Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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