If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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