Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
