Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
