i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
