thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
