I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
