i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The Olympian is in my bed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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