It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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