Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
