Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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