marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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