Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
