I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i want to swaddle you in tequila
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
