The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
