Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
