i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
