tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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