we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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