i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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