Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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